Dear Jane,
It feels like I'm forcing a need to write down my thoughts. There's no beginning, as there is no end. So since there is a lack of inspiration / a specific thought to write down, I've decided to tell you about what I'm thinking about right now. I've always been scared to be, to think and to act as an average teenager, and maybe it's just because I'm not, but it confuses me when other problems such as 'boys' appear in my head. (Is it possible that this fear and idea that I'm not as everyone else, makes me just like anyone else?) I don't want to waste my precious time thinking about whether he likes me or not, it must not matter since there are so many other things to think and talk about. You see.. when some people around me from the same age as I am (which is 17 years young, and even now I can say that life is moving by too fast), say they're trying so hard to be 'one of them', I roll my eyes. Who decides the 'them' in this sentence? Everyone is unique in behavior and looks, but there is apparently still sort of a role model for most of us. Oh, but this won't go anywhere that will make sense, or even a clear moral, so let me try something else.
Today I've worked at a new workplace; new building, company, colleagues and costumers. But that doesn't even come close to the whole point I'm going to make. I've met a new person today, and it's a typical example of how wrong and misplaced you're first impression can be. We talked about his past, and how it made him stronger; he was able to turn his negative and bad happenings from the past into positive experiences. It's not as easy as it sounds, but he managed to pick himself up, and to just move forward, with the knowledge that there won't be a second time he'll have to get through this. There is a reason specific things happen and overcome you, and it's up to you how much value you give it. Nothing happens for no reason, and in this I really believe. But to bring up the 'wrong impression' part; in the beginning I thought this person was shallow and 'mean' (in my opinion), but this wasn't the case at all. I'm glad we had this conversation. These kind of conversations inspire me, these kind of people inspire me. Actually.. most people inspire me, even the ones I don't share the same opinions with, inspire me. Because I think it's important to analyze both sides of anything.
I'm deeply unsatisfied about my writing today, because this piece doesn't give me any overview of my mind. It's just like a mirror of my mind, they're all just various thoughts randomly put together in one story. I'm very sorry for this one, I hope it will be better another day. It wasn't my intention to be so frustrated after writing. It's just not going so well lately. But let's not bore you with this one, I'm going stop now, hoping the frustration will fade away after a good night of dreams.
Yours truly,
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